Today I’m going to talk about racism. Yup, I know. But but recently it hit home for me and I felt I needed to share.
So my BF Chris and I both grew up in a small (mostly white) town. We both went to the same school, lived in the same town, and knew alot of the same people. Now in my house race isn’t a thing. I didn’t see people of other colors as different, I didn’t even think racism was a thing that still happened. Well fast forward 9 years, and boy was I wrong.
So a little info: I’m white, and my bf is half and half, and by that I mean he gets confused as being Portuguese quite often. In March of 2017 we found out that we were pregnant. Yayyy. Fast forward to October, baby’s so close!
I’m that person that sees it happening on the news but says that doesn’t happen around here. Which nothing major like the news stories happens around here. Racism comes in all different forms.
Me being naive:
So we’re getting everything ready for the baby (my first, but he’s got children with another woman, we’ll get to that later). We start talking about the hospital and his previous experience and starts to warn me about a few things:
- The nurses are going to ignore him.
- They’re going to immediately assume (because he’s black and we’re unmarried) that he’s going to be an absent father.
- Trying to exclude him; always asking him to leave the room etc.
Of course I didn’t believe him at the time. Until delivery day came. And to my surprise, he was right!
Now this man has been with me every step of the way, made sure everything was set, went to every single appointment, and gave me undivided love, care and support.
Within minutes of being in our room the nurse was already being unbelievably rude to him. She asked me if I wanted him to wait outside while we did the orientation, which of course I said no. Why wouldn’t he be in the room it’s his child too? They spoke 100% to me as if he was not even there. When I signed the birth certificate papers they questioned me using his last name instead of my own. Again it’s his child why would I do that? They didn’t offer him meals, so he had to go buy his own. By the end of our 3 day stay I realized that racism really does still exists in 2017. And worse, by hospital staff.
This one really had me in awe:
One day my Bf and decided that he would visit me at my job with our daughter. The game was on and it wasn’t that busy ( my co workers adore my daughter 😍).
So I seat them at a table where it wasn’t too crowded next to a one other table with 3 occupants, and a good view of the tv. After a little while goes by the woman at the next table started to talk to him and the baby. The woman was very sweet and polite. Then she started asking him questions:
“So are you black?”
To which he replied “yes, I’m half black and half white.”
-Now this right here is shocking. Why? Because this woman casually and politely asked this man if he was black? Why would you ask that? Does it make a difference? Hold on there’s more.
“Is this your first child?” Asked the woman.
“No I have a son and another daughter.” He said.
Still polite and smiling. “Oh? Are you in their lives?“.
This woman actually asked him if he was in his other children’s lives! Such a simple question right? But would she have asked a white man this same question? Are you assuming that because he’s of color that he’s not in his other children’s lives? I couldn’t believe a customer was actually asking these questions to a complete stranger based on the color of his skin .
Don’t look at someone’s skin color and assume anything. My bf supports all 3 of his children regardless of if they live with him. This woman was completely offensive, and she didn’t even realize it. Be kind to all. Don’t assume you know about someone by the color of their skin. Racism does still exist in 2018. Even if it doesn’t affect you personally
Thank you for reading.
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